Please Refer to Customer Service
by SokuDragon
Summary: Welcome to HetaliaShack! Need something fixed? Looking for something strange in particular? Just have a question? No problem! We have Customer Service.


_Please Refer to Customer Service_

**Day One**

[HeroSauce Clean-up in Aisle Three]

"Hey, you got any HeroSauce here?"

Kiku Honda briefly looked up at the man in front of him with a look that was mixed between disbelief and utter shock. How in God's name was he stuck dealing with this insufferable American man, who claimed the existence of a product of who-knows-what called _HeroSauce_? Oh, that's right. It had all started just one day ago…

_-Yesterday at the Wang household—_

This was the moment Kiku Honda had anticipated ever since its announcement. In his hands, he held the newest, latest addition to the PSP franchise. He stared at the precious object in his hands, now rightfully his own, and felt proud. After many months of waiting desperately for this new product, he had finally gotten his hands on it; and on the day it had been released, no doubt. In fact, he had the great fortune of being the first to get one (the tens of hundreds of people in front of him met with a little "accident" that had fortunately not hit him).

The new portable look, the sleek design, and the graphics! Oh, it was _orgasmic_ to the little Japanese man. He hugged it tightly before attempting to strip it of its packaging carefully. If there was even one scratch on it, someone was going to die. Once he had painstakingly pulled the device out of the box, he gazed dreamily at it in all of its unadulterated glory. You could see the way his eyes lit up as he reached to turn the game system on. But before he was able to bask in that glory, his adoptive older brother came into the room, not pleased.

"Kiku, aru! That game system costs a fortune, aru!" The Chinese man cried in agony as he waved the receipt around, keeping it far away from him as if it were the spawn of the devil himself. Or whatever being happened to be against the God of Yao's religion.

"B—" But without even a word in, Yao interrupted him once more.

"The only way to make up for this is for you to pay for it somehow. And the only way for you to make this kind of money is for you to get a job, aru." Kiku gasped in horror. A _job_? That…that was a horrible idea! A job meant spending possibly 8 hours or more working at some boring old office or department store, dealing with a bunch of random people that he cared nothing for. In Kiku's well-educated and very mechanical mind, that equaled a chunk of the time he could be spending with his PSP lost. And he just could not have that.

"But, Yao—"

"No _but_'s, aru! You are getting a job, and that is final. I already got you a job application to work at this electronics store nearby called HetaliaShack, aru. It's perfect!" With that, Yao grinned before tossing the job application at Kiku's feet. And then Kiku was alone in his room. But of course, he wasn't completely alone, because he had his job applications to accompany him. The dreaded sheets of paper stared up at him, mocking him, as he reluctantly put his PSP down (carefully) and leafed through the papers.

He would need these filled out soon. Sighing, he pulled a pen out of his desk and filled the papers out, heading towards the store the moment he finished.

_-At HetaliaShack (next day) _-

Kiku stared up at the building. It wasn't super huge, like some department stores, but it was of a formidable size. He walked in to find that it looked to be rather cozy, the products lined neatly along the walls and on the counters. Before he could take another minute to gaze at the surroundings, a figure jumped at him.

"Are you the poor sa—I mean, new employee?" Kiku stared at the person in front of him. If he happened to work here, his attire was rather…not fit for the situation. He looked like he was about to go on vacation.

"Ah, yes, I do hope so (not). I need to find the manager to turn in my applications. Would you perhaps know where I might find him or her?" The person in front of him just grinned.

"That be me! And no need for applications, you're hired!" Before the Japanese man could protest, the man who claimed to be the manager tore up his applications, gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and dashed out the door. Kiku could faintly hear the screeching of a retreating car as he stood, alone, in the store. He looked at the torn remnants of his paper and made out his position to be the customer service guy. Kiku simply sighed.

He walked to his post and stood there, bored out of his mind. And then, a thought hit him. He had his PSP with him! Grinning with delight, he pulled it out and rubbed it against his face obsessively. He then flicked it on and bit his lower lip to keep himself from squealing in delight at the beautiful and smooth graphics appearing in front of him. He decided the first thing he would do after admiring the wonderful graphics-work on the system would be to check the Playstation Network store for any good games.

Just as he was about to press on the store, however, a rather tall blonde man came crashing through the front door of the store. Kiku, aware that he looked unprofessional, quickly hid the PSP under the counter and tried to look presentable.

"Ho-how may I help you today, sir?" The man walked up to him, slammed his hands on the counter (Kiku stared cautiously at his PSP, praying for this strange man in front of him that his PSP was undamaged), and said:

"Hey, you got any HeroSauce here?"

_-Back to the Present—_

And that was how Kiku Honda stood here in front of his idiotic American man who had just asked for a product with the most unbelievable name.

"I-I don't think I caught that correctly. Could you perhaps repeat that?"

"I said, you got any HeroSauce here? 'Cause I really need some. Today." Kiku looked to see if the man was joking, but got nothing but a hard, serious stare. Kiku, having been here for but less than a day, had no idea whether this product was real, and if it was, if there were any in stock. He wasn't even sure if HeroSauce was an electronic item.

"Um…this is an electronics store. I do not believe we have this…_HeroSauce_ you speak of." The customer just looked at him like he had two heads.

"But your online website said you had some available." Oh, goodie, this store was online too. Kiku, not sure of what to do, decided to do what he saw typical customer service people do. He turned to his computer and got into the system to search up available products in the store. He typed in "HeroSauce" into the search engine and waited.

With a "bing!", results came up and, to Kiku's surprise, it DID, in fact, exist. They were in Aisle Three. Kiku looked to the American and motioned for him to follow. Not exactly familiar with the aisles himself, Kiku vaguely stared at the little signs before each aisle. Kiku looked befuddled. There was Aisle One, obviously, and then it skipped over to Aisle Seven. _What_?

"I-you'll have to excuse me, sir, I'm a new employee and I'm not quite familiar with the…_system_ here." The American just gave him a blinding smile.

"Aw, no biggie, man! Take all the time you need, just, ya know, don't take all day." Kiku stared up and down the aisles until he finally saw Aisle Three. He led the American into the aisle and stared at the products. Some of them looked oddly familiar to him. His eyes followed the logos only until he came up to "HeroSauce".

The American looked rather thankful as he pulled a box or two off the rack. He ran to the cash register, pressed it in by himself, left the money on the counter, and dashed out of the store. Kiku looked at the mess under his feet as the boxes that had fallen when the American made a mad grab for his share of product were strewn everywhere. Kiku first went to count the money on the counter, which was a little bit over the exact amount, but who cares? More money. Kiku decided to call it a day, snatching whatever was on the counter, stuffing it in his bag (which he had brought for some reason), and leaving with his PSP in tow. He was saddened by the fact that he was much too tired to play it.

Once he had reached home, Kiku flopped onto his bed, pulling the money out of his bag to count how much he had made. Since his boss wasn't here, indulging on the money he earned wasn't a big deal…right? He reached in and pulled the money out, but something else fell out as well. He looked over and noticed it was a box of HeroSauce. Kiku vaguely wondered why there was a product called HeroSauce in an electronics store. But suddenly, a thought struck him. What exactly _WAS_ HeroSauce?

Reaching for the box, he flipped it over to read the description in the back. He stared at it silently.

_HeroSauce: The leading brand in male enhancement products._

**Okay, this idea just kind of came up. How is it? Feedback's nice. HetaliaShack…was just a name I came up with on the spot. Nothing in particular, other than RadioShack, but it's not quite the same.** **Oh, and votes on who the next customer is.**_He_


End file.
